Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I hate all girls vehemently.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
