You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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