Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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