I love black thongs
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
please come you make the beer taste better
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
