Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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