what day is it and did you see me today?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
