Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
