OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
