i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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