The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize