i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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