The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
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