Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
