My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
