I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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