Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
