about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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