8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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