I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
