3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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