i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just found puke in my bra..
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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