I bet he comes in French.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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