UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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