Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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