Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize