i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Couch. On fire.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
