there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
