# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
