I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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