I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
