I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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