You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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