no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
