i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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