so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
