I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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