i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
