NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
