i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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