I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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