i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
