just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
