He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
