3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
