he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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