We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
