big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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