I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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