I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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