So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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