seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
