My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
