The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
