You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
