It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
