I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
