Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
