I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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