idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
