When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
