i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
