i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
